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Your wife leans forward to adjust her dress and you mutter the spell under your breath. You watch her tits swell, spilling out of her cleavage.“Honey! That’s not funny! My boobs hardly fit in this dress as it is… Stop making them grow!”
Patience is not your strong point
Basement Cat will not indulge your curiosity
He does not approve of your union
Demon cat does not appreciate your embellishments
Not sure I agree with your definition of “cute”
Your opinion is not my reality
I’m your cat, dammit, not your psychoanalyst
Your assistance was not requested
Your cooperation is appreciated
It’ll steal your sunshiney soul
Not your cheerful assistance, that’s for sure
With ears like that, you’d think your hearing would be better
Your faces when you have to answer the door because hotel security is about to tell you to keep it the fuck down in there.
I will not be your father....
casualmalexlfan: the cops are already on their way to your house you sick little fuck.
mybloodyicecream: Because fuck your childhood Too funny not to post!
Welcome to your nightly funny! You could say that this is a wee bit racist, or you could not be an overly sensitive ass and just laugh.
Tag your spoilers.
step one: open your image:step two:select the burn tool and turn the exposure up to 100, you can select either midtones or shadows, but don’t select highlights!step three:BURN THE BITCHthis has been a photoshop tutorialwritten by Cinder. xoxo fall
kirathaune:This is so me it’s not funny. But you did the thing and that’s what’s important
jackwynand: daddy issues = not funny being traumatized by a father figure to the point where you can’t trust any man = not funny getting scared of men raising their voices = not funny living your whole life wondering why your dad abused you/left with
slbtumblng: pookie02: You kids with your smooth animation that’s consistent and not constantly recycled. Back in my day you ignored when someone’s mouth didn’t move when they were talking or when a Ninja Turtle had the wrong color face mask.
…. dude do your own fucking laundry. You make your mom wash your cum filled socks? Not classy bro… and kinda creepy.
…. not even surprised. I am literally desensitized to an Americas news headlines. Haven’t been surprised/shocked by one in years…
…. I feel like this is common sense… but apparently… its not…
lol I advise everyone NOT to live your life this way… bad things will happen…
doodle-shenanigans: darcyshire: steadfast: This is the way you’re supposed to do pranks! I try SO hard not to make faces when I hear someone around me say wild shit but I just can’t stop myself Choose your fighter
whisky-gerblin: asortoflight: themodernsouthernpolytheist: xakumi: hydro-punk: rox-and-prose: yay855: sisterofiris: Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick. Signed, a person who somehow
doodle-shenanigans:darcyshire: steadfast: This is the way you’re supposed to do pranks! I try SO hard not to make faces when I hear someone around me say wild shit but I just can’t stop myself Choose your fighter
sadismacorp: gingerin-thetardis: “Raven what’s on your face. It is me” SO FUCKING DAPPER
mihrstears: send this to your crush. just. just do it
jadehariey: sukoshibot: jadehariey: jadehariey: What’s the tallest buildings in your city? THE LIBRARY BECAUSE IT HAS THE MOST STORIES I can’t believe I’m being punder arrest.
mandopony: jaxblade: lukehemmign: whitebeltwriter: dual-destininies: derples: dual-destininies: tf2-fandomstuck: tiniestshorts: Bread knife The french have grown more powerful. Hold it! Look more closely at these photographs, Your Honor.
chairicon:The really weird autistic sweet spot where you just say things you think and people find you super funny
*giggles* i can’t help it. how do they NOT bring a smile to your face?
10knotes: This photo was taken at a grocery store where the pen to sign for credit cards was not working. It was supposed to say, “Pen is broken,” but the letters were too close together. Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard xD
omgphantastic: iibitex3: get-ready-or-not: awaken-through-the-heart: watchog: videohall: Screaming sheep IM GONN A PEE OMG IM GUNNA DIE FROM LAUGHING!!! OH MY GOD I needed that thank you bless your soul you adorable sheep LMFAO. @bitemebotch
lulz-time: Be sure to follow this blog, it’ll look great on your dashboard damnit i’m not working out today because i have to study for calc and tutor for chem. haha and this is how i feel right now -___- =D
viva-namidas: daggerpen: sufficetogay: youveupsettits: get-your-ass-in-the-impala: nurderling: Watch this video from Cadillac. Note a few things (actor, white, rich guy, workaholic, typical cocky American, very unrealistic). This is not a parody
8bit-ghost replied to your post: 8bit-ghost replied to your post: I just noticed… oh.>___> sorry it’s ok
xiumeme: guys… if someone in your inbox says they are linking you to a kpop video… DO NOT CLICK THE LINK!!!!!! its not a virus or anything but kpop sucks dont click it. Reblog so others know.
hiccupkin: me: *cracking my knuckles* hell yes.. i love to break my bonessome nerd: um, you know youre not actually breaking your bones, right? youre just releasing gas–me: *louder* ahh yes. i lvoe to Destroy my bones. absolutely obliterate my fucking
dracomalfyaoi:NOT FUNNY APRIL FOOLS JOKESscreamersfake coming outsfake suicidefake crushesstuff that could hurt someone emotionally or physically HILARIOUS APRIL FOOLS JOKES rickrolling putting googly eyes on stuff putting only ONE ice cube in someone’s
Yes I live with guys. Yes we are affectionate. No I don’t want to fuck them in any way. No I’m not secretly in love with them. Keep your fantasies to yourself.
alisonshendrixs: an important piece of advice for future parents: don’t insult your kid’s weight don’t insult your kid’s weight don’t insult your kid’s weight just don’t even comment on it your kid is well aware of their weight just don’t
malfoy-took-my-shock-blanket: destihell: hey look it’s a weeping angel YOURE NOT FUNNY
punkasslilbitch: somebody somewhere in the world has a picture of my best friend dressed up as a clown leaning against a fence smoking a cigarette and i find that funny as shit
macabrefascination: oaluz: long term effects of emotional abuse:a distrust in your perceptions a tendency to be fearful or on guardself-consciousness or fear of how you are coming acrossan inability to be spontaneousa distrust of people and in future
do your socks get soggy when you step in a puddle?
virginsplayground: sad-butsassy: shinnomew: my-littletony: vixen7: I’m crying. ITS BACK “You’re the worst friend ever” in a monotone voiceI’m very happy “I will rip your fucking throat out” I TRIED TO NOT REBLOG BUT THEN
deletingggggggggggggheart-deact:Sometimes people hate you because youre hot and sweet amd genuine and funny and have big tits
hirxeth: “I’m gonna fucking kill you. I’m gonna fucking kill you. It’s not funny, don’t laugh. I’m gonna fucking kill you. I’m gonna fucking kill you. I love you so much I’m gonna fucking kill you.”Her (2013) dir. Spike Jonze
thefrogman: Here is a box with a kitty inside that steals your coins. If you are saying to yourself, “OMG I NEED THIS!” then fear not… for my Google Fu is strong and I have found it on Amazon. [video]
![thefrogman: Here is a box with a kitty inside that steals your coins. If you are saying to yourself, “OMG I NEED THIS!” then fear not… for my Google Fu is strong and I have found it on Amazon. [video]](https://69.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m665z4mcis1qbyxr0o1_250.gif)